I shared a favorite song “on your porch, by the format” with my friend Barb, who’s Dad has Alzheimer’s which has a profound affect on her entire family. Barb and I both shed tears as we listened to this song. I am so inspired with the love her family shares, their sense of humor and the many ways they support their parents through this difficult time. Their is a part in the song where he sings “my dad is sick, my mom took care of him…. if you failed you failed, but not to us”.
It was later the same day that my sister called to tell me that my Father has both lung and colon cancer. I called my Dad that evening– to get more information and then visited him in San Diego while in California last week.
It saddens me when I think of what a close family we once were. Both my parents came over from Europe on a boat after the war– they met and married in Edmonton, Alberta Canada and had the first four of six children. Four years later in Toronto my youngest brother was born and then seven years later my sister was born in Kendall, New York.
Our parents were tough on us and they worked hard to keep the six of us in line. They felt hard work was the key and always drove us to do our best. I can remember Sunday afternoon’s my parents dancing in the living room to music from the play “Jesus Christ Super Star” and other various albums. Later conversations become more competitive around sports and career; my father believed it took commitment and hard work to be the best – and he felt if you carried our name you had to be the best! His methodologies were not always easy to swallow, however I believe his intentions were good. My brothers were high-school wrestlers and most of them went to college on sports scholarships and for me; I took the nationals in Judo at the age of 17.
My family is made up of mostly engineers and it seems communication can be tough. I feel we can often be judgemental which has become the most difficult in our relationships.
It’s been an interesting year for our family with Tim receiving and me donating a kidney and now learning about my father’s cancer. I do hope we can find a way to support each other in this world. The thing about family is we’ve shared so much and have known each other from the beginning.
Good night. Wendy