Tag Archives: life choices

Back on track – Kidney donor

The pain I felt waking up from surgery forced me into a state of  feeling the present moment. In this space of not looking forward nor behind is where I eventually found my souls true joy.

After donating my kidney I felt as though I had a clean slate. I was acutely aware that I had let go of baggage particularly around feeling worthy in the world I inhibited. My problems didn’t go away, but my sense of self changed immensely. I felt happy, lighter and open to life’s challenges. I had been putting emotions and life’s chores on the back burner far too long.

Over the next year I found a sense of joy that reached me to the core. No longer did negative events in my life shut me down. Instead life flowed easily throughout my days. Not naming things bad or good, I stopped telling my story and just appreciated. I can remember my Father saying, ” life is not easy, it’s hard”.  And now, I find life for the first time easy.photo

And then..

As we all know change is imminent. We cannot nor should we stand still. Nothing stays the same, particularly if you are like me who gets energized by growth.

As I enter this next chapter, I find myself challenged. In a new city where home is a hotel room and doing interesting work with new challenges to open my mind. In life, it can be both bitter and sweet.  I get energy from learning, growing and being around people who are intelligent, kind and passionate. However, the slightly bitter side is selling my home, leaving my friends and family who are so far away and of course the unknown.

A change of self can sneak up quickly, particularly when we are in the fast lane.  It’s here that I find myself feeling weathered, alone and emotionally drained. I then look for what is wrong and complain to myself, “I miss, I wish, I want” and it’s then that I realize I am heading in the wrong direction. These thoughts do not empower me, they in fact drain me.

I quickly re-connect and that does the trick. I simply turn my complaints into what I appreciate. These opportunities to grow, to love and to be challenged and to trust that I am exactly where I choose to be.

I reflect and realize its simply my attitude that has changed and I find the joy in each moment flowing through my veins and I am happy once again.

Back on track.  Wendy

Choices in life’s defining moments! Living Kidney Donor

It’s hard to imagine that a loss of this magnitude would leave us at choice. I remember writing at the timeI must find a way to feel whole again and let go of the pain, so that I can feel the joy of having Kyle in my life“.

My son Kyle and I

My son Kyle and I

It was January 7, 1984 and I was 24 years old when my first son Kyle was born. He was beautiful with blond hair, blue eyes and barely 3 pounds. I remember feeling so happy that I had a part of carrying this beautiful baby into the world. As a young Mother I felt unsure and didn’t particularly like or know myself. However, when Kyle was born, all of that changed.

We have all had loss in life and often these moments define us. For me, it taught me about love and choice. I quickly realized after my son passed away 3 weeks after birth that I had serious life decisions to make.

  • How was I going to let this affect my life?
  • How would this influence me as a young women?
  • Would I live in fear?
  • Would I be open to love?

I chose to keep Kyle close and to honor the time we had. To not question what I couldn’t answer and to trust in life.  I have learned to be a more loving person and a better Mom to my two sons. I found a new path in life and got away from things I wanted and focused on moments I had.

What choices have you made from life’s defining moments?

Wendy

About Wendy:  Another defining moment! This blog began as I looked for an outlet to write about my experience in donating my kidney on August 16th of 2012.  I went through the surgery and came out stronger and more grateful that I was able to donate on behalf of my brother Tim.