It’s hard to imagine that a loss of this magnitude would leave us at choice. I remember writing at the time “I must find a way to feel whole again and let go of the pain, so that I can feel the joy of having Kyle in my life“.
My son Kyle and I
It was January 7, 1984 and I was 24 years old when my first son Kyle was born. He was beautiful with blond hair, blue eyes and barely 3 pounds. I remember feeling so happy that I had a part of carrying this beautiful baby into the world. As a young Mother I felt unsure and didn’t particularly like or know myself. However, when Kyle was born, all of that changed.
We have all had loss in life and often these moments define us. For me, it taught me about love and choice. I quickly realized after my son passed away 3 weeks after birth that I had serious life decisions to make.
- How was I going to let this affect my life?
- How would this influence me as a young women?
- Would I live in fear?
- Would I be open to love?
I chose to keep Kyle close and to honor the time we had. To not question what I couldn’t answer and to trust in life. I have learned to be a more loving person and a better Mom to my two sons. I found a new path in life and got away from things I wanted and focused on moments I had.
What choices have you made from life’s defining moments?
About Wendy: Another defining moment! This blog began as I looked for an outlet to write about my experience in donating my kidney on August 16th of 2012. I went through the surgery and came out stronger and more grateful that I was able to donate on behalf of my brother Tim.
I am not sure how everyone else makes decisions or processes an upcoming event such as Living Kidney Donor surgery. For me its very similar to how I make life decisions.
- I first consider is this the right decision for me?
- Is this something I want to do?
- Am I able to do this?
I rarely consider the consequences such as; how will it feel, will this affect my business, my finances, etc. For me its always about the bigger picture and this is about potentially saving someone’s life. Once the surgery is completed Tim will no longer have to go through the painful process of dialysis three times a weeks at four plus hours a procedure, his health will improve and he can begin to live an ordinary life without having to plan around these events every other day.
I do however do my homework by understanding the details around the surgery, the recovery time, the amount of time it will take for the committee to approve me medically fit and how this will affect me physically in the future. UPMC (University of Pittsburgh’s Medical Center) did a great job of sending materials on what to expect in all matters of the surgery. In order to be added to National Kidney Data Base it’s extremely involved. Some of the tests include; A complete physical, heart – stress tests, running in place, echo. Mammogram, Pap Smear, one full day in the hospital meeting the Dr’s, learning more about the program, reviewing health records, psychological evaluation, CT Scans, X Rays, Glands, Throat, Blood tests, Urine Tests, etc. (more information on requirements). At times I found it difficult to be patient with the process since one blood test could lead to more questions and therefore more tests and more tests. However, I understood the necessity for the tests were in my best interest. It took approximately three months before I was added to the National Kidney Registry.
Once I was added, I received a call in 24 hours that a match for my Brother had been found! That was pretty amazing.